Why Domestic Violence Victims Stay in Abusive Relationships: Part Two

We are back with why people stay in abusive relationships. Keep reading to hear why people stay in abusive relationships and what they can do to get help if/when they need it!

Has Low Self-Esteem

The abuser attacks the victim physically, but also emotionally. The abuser will isolate the victim from loved ones and will emotionally traumatize her. Being alone like this with no one around to esteem the victim when she needs it can lead to a very low self-esteem. Listening to the constant horror that comes from abusers can keep the victim feeling worthless and not good enough to receive the abuser’s love.

Has Dependent Children

The victim may fear for her children’s safety. “If I left,” she might think, “my abuser will come after my children.” The children may also be financially dependent on the abuser, and the victim will oftentimes not want them to be lacking by leaving. There are services available to victims of abuse and their families. Read on to see these resources.

Believes Abuser Will Change

“If only I would stop nagging, start cleaning, or be a better mother or lover, then my abuser would stop abusing me.” This is an illogical thought. The abuse inflicted on the victim is not the victim’s fault. I will say this again. The abuse is not the victim’s fault. Abusers are abusive for many reasons. Here a few actually valid reasons why abusers are abusive, and these reasons have nothing to do with the victim.

  • They have anger management issues.
  • They were verbally, physically, and/or sexually abused as a child.
  • They were orphaned growing up.
  • The abusers are under the influence of drugs or alcohol and do not discontinue use.

These reasons are simply that–reasons. They are not excuses as to why the abuser can or should continue abuse. They simply explain why an abuser may be coerced to abuse. At the end of the day, an abuser chooses to abuse others. That comes back on their shoulders and their shoulders alone.

Doesn’t Know Help is Available

There are endless resources available to victims of abuse. Here is a massive list of resources from the National Domestic Violence Hotline. This is certainly not exhaustive, but it is a great place to start. Here is another great resource from the Family and Youth Services Bureau. Here are more resources from the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. These resources can be found simply by typing in a variety of search terms in the search bar on search engines. “Resources for victims of domestic violence,” and, “domestic violence services,” are both great searches to conduct.

If you ever feel stuck in an abusive relationship, know that it is not your fault that you are being abused. There is help for you. Keep your hopes high that your loved ones and you will be safe again. Make sure to never let the aforementioned reasons keep you from leaving an abusive situation.